Welcome to DAMY. We are grateful to have the opportunity to work with you. This program was developed for you. This is your time. This is your place.

Now that you are here, all that is required is for you to understand the concepts we outline and complete the action plans and guides. You’ve got this.

Let’s set the stage for the first pillar of this program – a holistic weight loss mindset.

You are not your past experiences. Your body desires to be lean, light and healthy. Imbalance is not in your genes. This moment is new and you have decided to seize it.

Your reactions to stress, turmoil, conflict, etc are meant to be supportive of solutions, balance and healing. Not binging, seclusion and dis-ease.

Your outlook is everything. If you think you will succeed in weight loss you will. Weight loss is mostly about discipline and being open to correcting imbalances (in organ systems, diet, exercise and lifestyle). If you can keep this in mind your results should be very positive.

You deserve greatness. You are deserving of the highest quality of health.

In section one we discuss how to separate yourself from your past experiences and why it is important in weight loss. This is about getting to know the true you. Seeing clearly what it means to be centered and whole.

In section two we outline day to day habits for success and how to build a better reaction/coping ability. This is about living in the now. Acknowledging the reality of life and moving forward empowered.

In section three we clarify how your outlook should be shaped. We give tools to keep it focused and provide a practice to continually stoke the fire of positivity you will need.

Everyone’s journey to a healthy body is different because their path to a diseased body has been unique. The mind is no different. Our experiences shape us and our mental atmosphere is reflected in physical ailments like weight gain.

Do not skip the mindset section and concepts below. Give it the same attention you would both nutrition and exercise. Remember, it was just 30 years ago that we discovered what we ate influenced our weight and overall health. Remember, it was just 5 years ago that we discovered exercise isn’t generally that important in weight loss.

Where does mindset fit? It is difficult to study but we believe it is somewhere between important and THE most important.

Let’s go.

 

Before you begin

Getting started today.

You can absolutely get started on implementing the concepts in this section today. Here are the key concepts for what we will cover. You may get enough from just the titles to start practicing.

Key Concepts:

1. Let go of your past experiences with weight loss programs and diets. This is new. This is different. Lets start fresh by creating a boundary between now and what you have already tried.
2. Stay present in your day-to-day life and make choices that support your highest good. We make it easy to stay on plan throughout your weight loss journey. Your job is to stay strong and calm and to be present.
3. Stay consistent and keep your focus. This is a long-term program. It isn’t a diet you will one day complete. Learn how to be consistent and to maintain your focus when times are tough. Today is day one.

 

LETTING GO TO LOSE WEIGHT

Past experiences/managing expectations

You have been through some things. Things have happened to you. Things have been out of your control. You are where you are because of some major event, a series of bad experiences, trial and error, self abuse, abuse from others, etc.

Something has gone down and now what?

Wherever you fit please know we understand its impact. It is lasting. It is heavy.

And, it’s not you.

It is your experience. It is not your future. It is not a part of you. It is only a reflection of where you were. Time to step out. Time to step away.

Stop replaying your past movie:

Before moving forward we have to release the excess “weight”. The excess weight of what has gone on in the past, disappointments or our expectation of failure (which is based on our previous attempts at weight loss). Our expectation of failure is one of the heaviest things we carry and one of the most important concepts we all have to let go of.

We have to let go of the shame of not yet succeeding. Whatever your storyline is.

Here are a few common examples:

• I diet so hard and it never works.

• I diet then I binge

• I always lose 10 lbs then I plateau. I PLATEAU.

• I should have done better

Each of these stories that we tell ourselves are really just our past “movies”. There is no real life evidence of them. They are gone. They are not here. They have no impact on today unless we allow them to.

The way we allow them to negatively affect us is through constantly reiterating them. Which really isn’t only us playing back what we have been through. It is us affirming our future.

So what we really need to tell ourselves is some new affirming statement of a better, new future. We need to re-write our future.

It is scary. It can be really difficult because you haven’t been there. It is not yet “real”. You haven’t done it. It isn’t touchable. It is not something you have done before so really somewhere in your mind your “little self” is might be saying “this is a lie”.

You might be saying “I don’t know that I can lose 40 lbs. I don’t know that I can have abs” if, for example, you have 40 lbs to lose. These are only reaffirming your past.

Even if you simply begin telling yourself the affirmation that you can accomplish these things. There will be a positive impact.

What we are doing is letting go of past stories. Letting go of the weight of shame. Those chains of what has been our experiences. Letting go of those chains that feel like a lifeline to keep us safe but really end up dragging us down. They are a weight.

 

How to Affirm Your Future

So, how do we accomplish this? It is not all in one swoop. It is a process. Initially we have to acknowledge our “past movies”.

One great tool that I use is simply writing things down (journaling). Taking the time to let my mind float.

• How do I feel about weight loss?

• What is the storyline that comes up for me when I think of the body, shape or lifestyle I want for me?

• Why don’t I already have it? What are those feelings?

• Why can’t I have it?

I write them down. Without judging them I get them all out. Then I go back and briefly analyze them. Really briefly instead of over analyzing them (because we are in such a time of over-analyzation)

It is good to look at them, acknowledge them and consider where they came from but you can’t keep just digging through your trash. You know what I mean? You can’t pour whip cream on your trash and pretend it is a good thing. We have to heal it.

You have to take out the trash.

We look at those ideas. Those things that come up for us and we replace them. So, one that came up for me was “my genetics are not conducive of the body I want.” There is no one in my family with the body I want. So, I replaced it.

“No one in my family lives the lifestyle I am going to live so how could they have the results I am going to see. I have unlimited potential. I can have exactly the body I want.”

The next one is “my genetics are awesome”. I have wonderful genetics. The family members that you consider to represent your genetics are not the whole story of how your genes will be expressed. It is only one use. So, you take back your story. An example would be “my body is capable of things I haven’t even imagined yet.”

Another fear thought that would come up for me was “you have never had this dream body why do you think you could ever get it?”

And I would replace that with “I deserve to be the healthiest, fittest, lightest, most glowing me that is possible”. This is also really honing into the belief system that you are here to be an optimal you. Because it is true.

You aren’t necessarily here to have Kim Ks bum but you are here to have your bum and the best version of it there is. This requires letting go of other’s ideals.

If the vision of others makes you feel empowered then that is different. If you have a rounder figure and imagining Kim K’s bum helps with your vision that works but if it makes you feel bad about yourself then you have to let go. You have to start using yourself as the example of optimization. Doing the work that needs to get done but letting the results float. I’m going to do everything that it takes to be the sexiest, freest, leanest me possible but I’m also going to leave room for what these results may show.

For example, I had an expectation for the body I wanted. Now that I am happy it has turned out to be something quite different. I thought I wanted to be a very muscular athletic build. I worked really really hard to have that. When I got there I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how I felt. I didn’t like what it took to get my body to maintain that. It felt wrong. It felt like I was running against the wind.

When I let go of that original idea and decided to let my body do what she wants to do I thought, I am going to do the work, eat healthy and see where she lands, and I’m much happier.

I am more of a lean, long build with less muscle than a fitness jacked person (but I feel amazing). I feel amazing in my body. I feel light. I feel more physically able, lighter and better now than I did when I was 18. And it is way easier. I’m not running against anything. I’m running with the wind now.

What to do today:

1. Review your ‘storyline’ & let go.
2. Replace with your affirmation.
3. Practice daily.

 

STAYING PRESENT – DAY TO DAY REACTIONS

Present reactions & habits, taking action

I was a chronic binge eater. I was raised a binge eater. I thought it was completely normal. I didn’t even know it was called binge eating.

I had to completely shift from my state of being into someone with behaviours that positively replace my habits. That’s how I changed mine. A choice to replace behaviours.

Every time I felt bad, sad, lonely, or whatever – whenever I went to go get that food for a good binge I immediately exchanged the behaviour with a hot bath with candles. I babied the “sugar biscuits” out of myself for a good few years.

I put on soothing music, lit candles, used epsom salts, essential oils and took a bath every time I wanted to binge. Or, any time I was sad, anxious or when those trigger emotions came up. It really worked.

Here’s how you can get there too:

First, do not bring any of your triggers into your house. I don’t care what the trigger is. For me, it came to the point that healthy peanut butter was a trigger. So, I had to remove it. In order to gain that back for myself I had to get rid of it.

If you don’t have it in your house the probability of you dipping in is very low.

You are going to go through some things again. Chocolate will be available. Ice cream is a short trip away. How will you react?

When things go wrong, off plan or out of our natural flow it is so easy to spiral. It can be out of habit or routine. It can be out of fear of failure, fear of hate, fear of anything. It can be due to a loss of self worth or otherwise.

Have a rock. Have a habit or routine to bring you back to center. It can be the bath or something else. Without this you will have to rely on mental energy. We know that during stress mental energy can be lacking. A trigger for wellness might be the only savior of your progress.

Let’s start by setting routines, habits and behaviour that support your success and move toward a flawless, self sufficient lean lifestyle.

Planting the seed & making peace:

One thing you have to make peace with when you are starting a journey is that it is going to be hard. There will be challenges. It is not easy.

So one concept you have to have clear in your mind right away is the idea of “planting the seed in the soil, nourishing the seed and letting the plant grow.”

Don’t go digging up the seeds. Don’t stand around the plant humming and hawing about how long it takes to grow saying “I don’t see any sprouts yet. Nothing is happening”. You have to let it go.

You have to decide what you want. Make peace.

Set up your own personal mindset. Prep your journal. Prep your affirmations. Your daily routine. Then just do the work with your head down for a period of time and stop digging for the results. Let the results happen.

One thing I like to do is revert to my little meditation area (in my closet). When I have a new goal or something I am looking to do I write down my goal, very detailed, put it in the closet, tape them on the door and let them be.

I used to analyze them daily and say well today I didn’t reach this or that. Lose this weight, etc. And it only set me back.

You have to make peace with the fact that reaching your goals is going to take a lot of juuuje. I think back to my life, say, my weight loss or my business or anything I have done. I was an annoying human during those times because I was all in.

As in, I had to become what I was going to do.

I had to eat, sleep and breathe my goal. Not in a negative way. In a way of embodiment in order to get my energy up. It is like pushing a rock up a mountain. It is going to be hard at first but when you get momentum, look out.

When you start a new eating plan it is friggin’ hard. Old habits come up. Cravings come up. Then your ego comes up and asks “how bad do you really want this?”. Next, every single challenge like your family, ego, emotional issues, ex-boyfriends, they are all going to come up.

The warrior that you really are has to keep moving forward.

The more committed you are towards your goal the quicker these thoughts and experiences will slough off. Then it won’t be that type of challenge any more. The wind will be at your back. You will be rolling.

I believe you will get there but for a while, please know, it is a lot of work and you have to accept it, understand it and make peace with it. You have to understand that even if someone looks like things come really easy to them and all that stuff it still does take work (*side note – we tell ourselves these stories to trick ourselves into staying small). We have all had to do really hard things to get to an easy place. So make peace with the fact that it is going to be hard sometimes.

Handle the cravings like a boss:

One thing you have to make peace with is the fact that cravings for specific foods are just like other types of addiction. If you open the door a crack you will be gone.

I know I have to be very careful.

When you are turning it around it is a lot of work. It is acute. It doesn’t take long to overcome but it is a powerful force and you will need to work through it.

First, you have to understand that you will have cravings. Then, you need to recognize that you are the adult in the room.

You have to say no.

On a very rational note – if sugar is your craving you have to have fruit with breakfast and lunch. That is going to help you. I know it sounds crazy but it really does. Having that natural sugar really satiates the appetite so that cravings are less intense. But, you will still have them at first.

Also, calm down. Who cares. We are all adults.

I remember back when I was craving sugar being like “ahh but I’m having cravings”. Who cares. You are an adult woman. You have been through much worse. It is a sugar craving. You’re good. You’re okay. You’re safe.

Not taking it so seriously and like, not thinking that every thought that comes into our head is rational. It’s not.

That was my ego trying to loop me into staying a certain size so that I wasn’t living my true authentic big, beautiful dream. Once I knew that it stopped mattering. Now when I have a sugar craving I think “dammit” and I can have a piece of fruit or a smoothie or just water.

At first it can be intense. You have to shut your brain off to it and you eat on plan and drink your water and know that 7-10 days out you are going to be over it.

If you know you are a sugar craver do not take your opportunity for a treat to binge on sugar or you are going to be in a mess. You will be looped into a sugar binge.

You had a great time – now what?

You had a great time. You drank your wine. You have to get to a place where you indulge rationally. You don’t go crazy.

One of my best tips to make this happen is to make sure you dress nice on treat night. When you are in sweatpants it is much easier to over do it. Your going to eat more. You will eat more junk. You feel like it won’t show up tomorrow but it always does.

So, you ate off plan. Maybe you had bread at night you crazy bird. Maybe it was a margarita or some nachos. You wake up the next morning with bags under your eyes. You feel bloated and you don’t want to go to the gym. Now what?

Don’t weigh yourself. Do yourself a favor.

Go drink as much water as you can. Have your breakfast on plan. Go do your workout.

While you are working out make peace with what went on. Move on. It’s over. That was your treat for your week. It’s done. You’re not touching anything until next week.

What is worse than the actual action of eating or drinking off plan is the guilt.

Guilt is much worse because it makes you feel horrible. It loops you in to more negative behaviours. You waste your time hating yourself. It is just a guilt cycle.

Right away make peace with it. I enjoyed it and this is what I am going to do differently next time.

If you did eat or drink too much or if you feel bad about your choices make a plan for how you are not going to feel bad next time. Make peace with it and move on. It’s gone.

You know in life we think that things are just pass or fail. Winning or losing. It’s not like that. You will get to a place where you pick things that aren’t the best things. They won’t be the best thing for you but you will stay at whatever goal you are at.

Right now you just want to get there, change some behaviours, delete some cravings. It takes some time and effort. Some consistency.

Beating yourself up is a waste of time.

What to do today:

1. Stay present with your day to day cravings, choices, emotions, etc.
2. Find your ‘rock’ (ie. epsum bath, cup of tea, a workout, a meditation, water, etc) to use when you are considering going off plan or binging.
3. Embrace the concepts of ‘planting the seed’ and ‘making peace’.

 

STAYING CONSISTENT & KEEPING YOUR FOCUS

Future goals, affirming the positive, staying focused

The future looks bright. Let’s keep it that way.

Maintaining a positive, self-fulfilling outlook doesn’t just happen. It is like a fire that needs to be stoked. It needs fuel, consistent fuel.

As a vision the future needs to be accurate and clear. Also, simple.

Often the best way to put all of this together is in a one liner. A clear affirming statement that you can believe in and that is realistic. It shouldn’t have an end goal (because this is a lifestyle) but it should reflect how you wish to feel on a day to day basis.

Do not live for the future but at the same time do not sleep on the requirement to maintain healthy habits and stay focused.

Consistency is everything in holistic health. Once you find balance maintaining is usually as simple as checking in with that one trouble area. Other times it requires deeper reflection.

You can do this. You will need some form of self-motivation that is consistent. Make it simple. Make it happen.

What else could set me back? – be ready to be gentle first.

So, there are times when we have to be gentle with ourselves. There is a difference between being gentle with ourselves and falling into old habits or abusive behaviours. Even in movies or tv it is affirmed that – say your boyfriend breaks up with you – now you should go out for ice cream and follow it up with a bag of chips – this is considered normal healthy behaviour.

Well, it’s not.

That is actually addictive binge eating behaviour. That is the opposite of healthy behaviour.

But there are times like if your boyfriend breaks up with you and you have a broken heart where you have to be more gentle with yourself and you are not going to be running full force toward your goal.

I mean some people, like myself, take tragedy and move forward. They zero in on goals and go nuts. They swing the other way. But that is therapy for them. Some people need to incubate and I respect that. I think we all need to respect it.

There are a few different archetypes of women who I have worked with who we need to be a bit more gentle with.

A: You have a child under the age of two. It is going to be hard. In that all of the things I am saying about goals and daily routines and no matter what doing ‘this and that’ – you should be rolling your eyes.

It is applicable to you but you are going to have to be more gentle with yourself. If you wake up and you know your child is teething and they want to breastfeed 24/7 and they will not leave you alone. You are probably not going to be able to sneak away to get your workout in.

That doesn’t mean you eat ice cream.

You still eat healthy, drink all your water. Maybe you skip your treat this week and even though you can’t get all your workouts in you at least get a few walks in with the baby in the stroller. You do the all day workout. Things aren’t going to be perfect.

It is a different mindset at that time or in similar situations.

B: Another one is heartbreak or loss. If someone has passed away. You don’t go crazy with beating yourself up. You’ll be sad. You will want to lay in bed and cry. This is not a time to push through and workout. That is not a time when you should do, do, do.

This is a time to take care of yourself. There is no shame in that. You are not set back. This is exactly your path. This is exactly where you are supposed to be. The best thing you can do is be kind to yourself. There is no shame and no guilt.

Action plan – My Reminder

I have one concept I always remind myself of. It is something I read 10 years ago. I printed it out and put it on the inside of my cupboard where I could see it every single day where I got my glass for water first thing in the morning.

It is this: This is it.

Like, this is it. This is your life. Today is the youngest you are ever going to be. This is your moment. This is your chance. Even if you believe in a million different lifetimes. This is this lifetime for you. This is today and oh, there is no more today. It is such a precious gift that we are all given.

No matter what you have been through or the weights that you carry, things that you face, this is it. Please know, I am not diminishing any of those. Who you are is a precious gift.

There is a reason you have been through the things you have been through. There is a reason you are here and you are here to feel at the very least – good. And to be able to carry yourself and your story and to feed the lives of the others around you and to be a beneficial presence to the earth. Whatever that means to you.

Just a gentle reminder – I guess not so gentle – it is pretty bold. This is it.

You are waiting for nothing. There is no one coming to save you. This is it.

Today’s the day. You’re the hero. You’re the one creating your story. You are the ticket out of whatever the situation you are in is and you are also the saviour.

Lets do this.

The forever mindset

Diets in general are a wonderful concept aren’t they? You get on a diet, you diet for a few weeks, then you are off sipping drinks in a bikini with your abs out, right?

It just doesn’t happen that way. That isn’t real life. There is no such thing. It is not all or nothing.

There is a certain surrender required and I mean surrender in a spiritual sense. Not in the other sense. A surrender to the reality that this is a lifelong journey.

Once you decide you want a certain figure or to feel a certain way, lightness, health, vibrance you just have to make peace with the reality that you will have to do certain things to maintain that. It is the same way that if you know you want to live a certain lifestyle you will have to live in a certain place, take a certain job, make a certain income and make adjustments to facilitate the life you want to lead.

For me, I had to make peace with the fact that I was going to have to workout every day if I wanted to feel the way I dreamed. If I wanted to feel good, feel the glowing feeling I was experiencing and feel light on this earth I would have to make peace with the fact that I was going to have to workout every single day.

At first this was a daunting thought because I hated it. Now it is like breathing and if I said I hated breathing you would think I was insane.

Now when people tell me they hate working out I kind of giggle because that’s how it felt to me. No you don’t. You just haven’t surrendered to it yet.

You haven’t learned to love it yet. You don’t love it yet. Ohhh, you don’t know how good you can feel. That’s all it is. It’s just understanding that this is a new way of living.

Now, in saying all of that, I want you to understand that there is a certain metaphor that is applicable here, that boulder we were pushing up the mountain. Yes, it is harder at first. And if you think “oh this is hard”. There is truth to that and it will not be this hard forever.

I promise you that.

You’re going to get into a routine and not like a “shut your mind off slack into things routine”. I mean routine – you are going to get the wind at your back in this. The momentum will be there.

But it takes you moving forward for a period of time (and for some people a long period of time). For me it took a long time to get to a place where was rolling on its own. A lot of people can do it a lot faster than I could. That is why I am here to help you. Because I am going to get you there faster than what it took for me. I took a lot of wrong turns and I want to prevent you from doing the exact same thing I did.

Accept your greatness

There is so much depth in the pride that comes when you grind it out on a daily basis to eventually reach an accomplishment. It can’t be earned any other way. It is a type of pride that you hear about when these people who are super rich who have been handed everything actually go for a goal. All they want is that sense of accomplishment. They crave it. It is something money can’t buy.

Not only are you creating something that is amazing and going to make you feel good but it will bleed into a ton of other areas of your life that you don’t even expect. You are going to show yourself how frigging tough you are. You are going to prove you can accomplish things out of thin air that you didn’t even know you could do and it is going to make you a tougher, more resilient, more vibrant and more, you know – to get a little airy fairy – you’re going to be a radiating person who is going to attract a lot of good into your life. So, make peace with the fact that it is hard. It is going to take time.

Make sure to know that you are going to have to tell your “little self” no. No, we can’t have this cake. No, we can’t go out and eat with the girls or no, I can’t have this extra cocktail.

Yes, I have to get up and do this morning workout. Like, there is going to be some tough love there. But it is all good. It is all good.

What to do today:

1. Be gentle with yourself. This is a process, a journey, things happen – stay as consistent as possible.
2. Set a daily reminder that – “this is it”.
3. Adopt the ‘forever mindset’ & accept your greatness.