David and I have been together almost a decade and married for 6 years. When I was 27 (around the time we were getting married) I had baby fever. I was so in love with life with David and we both wanted a family. I couldn’t wait to start.

Then life happened.
 

 
At this time our energy shifted towards building a better future. For us this was going to take a lot of hard work, change, sacrifice and commitment. David was in the Navy and was ready to shift careers into being a Naturopathic Physician. With this came buying him out of the military, a commitment to another 5 years of education and a whole lot of student loans.

At the same time I was shifting from my solid career to my dream business while committed to whatever it took to make my partner’s dreams a reality and working as hard as possible to minimize the debt we would incur from the education process.

Again, our business was self-funded as well as this education process. This caused a high amount of anxiety, stress and pressure. Our combined focus and energy were set on making this possible. It was stressful and intense. There were a lot of tears, loss of sleep and just plain worry.
 

 
To make this dream come true we had to postpone many of the things we wanted to do – travel, lifestyle, experiences, home base and building a family. I would cry about letting go of my dream of expanding our family but understood that I had to simply put it away and get through.

To say that these 6 years of transition, education and business building were stressful is an understatement but I also want to be very clear that David and I made it good. We are committed to turning every grey cloud into something positive. All the stress and strain ended up deepening our partnership and made us tougher as individuals and as a couple.

We did everything possible to make this difficult time as good as possible.
 

 
Throughout the years well intended people would say cute sayings like “there is never the right time to start a family” and “I hope you can have a baby soon” (implying that we were having difficulties starting). It was really frustrating at times. There is never a perfect time to start (maybe) but there are times that, based on common sense, wouldn’t be fair to a baby (or us).
 

 
In our careers, like many, there are years of sacrifice. Of just putting your head down and focusing on what is in front of you. For 6 years David had no time outside of education, I had no time outside of business. Being an entrepreneur I’m not entitled to any maternity leave and every dollar was going towards this process.

So, a year to get out of the military, 4 years in medical school, another 6 months for board exams, licensing, etc. We are talking me supporting us financially for 6 years. David worked the entire time he was in school within my business as much as possible to help move it forward.

The truth is we were actively deciding and taking steps to not have a baby.
 

 

Where we are now

Fast forward to today. I am 33, David has been working for a year and has been able to also focus on our business more than ever.

We are in the process of reaching big goals in business. And they all take hard work and focus.

We still have student loans to pay off (it would make you pass out of you could see how they jack up the interest a year into repayment…sickening).

We want to make up for lost time as a couple. We want to watch movies on weekends like normal couples, travel, have a “lazy Sunday”, etc.
 

 
We decided that we would put off having a baby for another 3-5 years. I mean, we already shoved the dream down for this long. What’s a couple more years. By this time we would hopefully have all the loans paid, had lived a little and enjoyed our lives together instead of always focused on business or books. We would purchase a vehicle big enough to add another member to our crew and be in a home we could stay in for a while and expand our family.

At least be in a condo with a room for a baby.

Well, life has another plan for us…
 

Plot Twist – We’re Pregnant!

Without going into too much detail and making everyone super uncomfortable there may have been a holiday night  containing whiskey and a full moon that got out of control. For the first time in almost 10 years we were not so careful.

To say we were not actively trying and had other plans is all true. But to be clear I always said to my children in my prayers that they can come when they are ready. (I believe that souls choose us as parents based on their highest growth potential).

I also prayed that I would be ready to be the mother that my child needed at any given time. I feel this miracle was beyond our small plans.

So I went straight from shock to being super sick. Picture being on a tilt-a-whirl on a boat in rough waters surrounded by all the foods that have ever made you nauseous. Fun!

David is thrilled and we are both deeply grateful.

At this point we are both just focused on having a healthy, happy baby and little things like trying to figure out where this sweet baby and all its accessories are going to fit in our condo and car. I also have to figure out how I am going to take anytime off. Lots to figure out in the next few months.
 

 
How far along:

We are currently at 13 weeks and 5 days. We were hoping to make it to the 16 week (4 month mark) before we spilled the beans but we were just too excited to share. I am excited to now be able to talk about this with my family and have their support on this journey.

David and I so enjoyed having this little secret to ourselves for the first few months. It was fun and exciting for just us to know for this time and to allow this to sink in (as it was a huge surprise).

For me, feeling not so good for the first few weeks I have loved not having to then talk about it on top of feeling sick. David is great at being supportive without overindulging in anything that makes me uncomfortable or I feel is negative.

Symptoms – I knew right away. My body was different. I was very bloated, hot and my boobs doubled in size over night. They were also so, so painful.

And something also confirmed it that sounds crazy but it’s true. My dogs. Especially my male dog (Oscar, if you don’t know we have an unhealthy codependent relationship stemming from him being a sickly little thing for the first 3 years. We are also super okay being attached at the hip).

Since about week 3 he started laying on my stomach 24/7. He has never done this before. He is always beside me but he had never been obsessed with being on my stomach. And now, to this day, if I am sitting or laying he is on my stomach. It is the sweetest thing. I don’t know how but he knew right away.
 

 
Specialty diet –  not really for me. I am for sure having more healthy carbs than I am used to and I am focused on eating enough everyday even when I don’t feel like it.

I am definitely more focused on nutrients than I even was before (hard to believe this could even be increased I know). I pack as much nutrients as I can into every meal.

I have not been craving junk food at all and I am really grateful for that. The idea of added sugar, chocolate, etc make me sick to my stomach.

I do eat, have eaten for years and will continue to eat a plant based diet high in veggies, fruits, whole grains and some healthy fats. I do not eat much in the way of processed foods, no added refined sugar and no animal products (no meat, fish, dairy, honey, etc.). My diet definition is vegan. I don’t talk that much about it and for that info you can listen here.

Workouts – for about 8 weeks I have been nauseous and sleepy so my workouts have suffered. I still get out everyday for a walk that is an hour and half and lift light weights 3 times a week. I am hoping now that my energy has increased in the last few days I will be able increase my workout intensity.

Supplements and products I am loving – my body butter recipe (I use it everyday without question – all over my body) and my prenatal vitamin. One tip I find very helpful is taking my prenatal vitamins at night vs the morning.

Aversions – anything and everything at any given time. It depends on the time of day. Garlic is a firm no for me right now. Also chocolate, curry and tea. I had to stop my morning tea as it was making me sick and instead having warm lemon and water.

Cravings – I haven’t really had too many cravings. Lemon has been the main one so far. I have been wanting lots of fresh fruit, healthy carbs and tomato.

Girl or boy “vibes” – David is firm that the baby is a boy. I was with him at first but lately I have been thinking maybe I was wrong.

We will be thrilled either way and again our focus is on health followed by happiness. I never thought I would want to have a girl to be completely honest. I went through so much when I was younger and a lot of it was tied to the challenges of being female. It all seemed so hard and complicated but the more I think about it the more I am kind of excited for the idea of a girl. I think being through so much and being as honest as I am I could be a great guiding light for a little girl. And David, well David would be a gift as a father to any little girl. She would be the luckiest girl in the word to have him. So either way, we are ready.
 

 
What have I bought for baby? – nothing. I have been purely focused on making it through the day and providing nourishment and a healthy, peaceful environment for baby. Oh, and sleeping whenever I feel like it.

Thoughts & feelings – to be 100% honest I am still in some shock. I don’t know if this makes any sense but I will try and explain how I feel:

I have worked so hard for everything I cherish in my life. I mean worked hard. Nothing handed. Sometimes we scraped along, dragging each other. We have been through some really challenging things that felt awful. We have earned everything good in our lives. So it feels so odd that something so amazing could just happen for us. It just blows my mind and almost feels to good to be true at times.

I also have many women in my life who I adore that have had infertility problems and my heart aches for them. I understand that this journey is so challenging for some. I hold everyone in my heart who has faced challenges in this area of life and please know I am sharing my truth, my journey and never being naive to the struggles many women experience.

I want to just end with a note that David has been unbelievable. He has picked up all my slack and has never complained once. This whole experience just deepens my gratitude for my partner.

I also feel it is important to say David and I have always felt like a family. I know many people would ask me questions about “finally being a family” and maybe for some having a child is what makes their relationship feel like a solidified family.

We have felt like a family from the start. Having a baby will only expand our family.

Last week we heard the heartbeat for the first time. If you can imagine feeling nervous, excited, grateful and in awe all at the same time you know how we felt. As the midwife searched for the heartbeat we waited impatiently. Finally all at once everyone in the room yelled “there it is!” It was the best feeling we have ever felt.

David and I didn’t pick our “perfect time” to start our family. Having two type A personalities in one relationship means that this was a major curve ball for us.

The best part is it couldn’t be a better feeling to be expanding our family. We feel calm, grateful and blessed.

*Let me know if you enjoy hearing about our journey in the comments below. If you do enjoy such posts I will continue to do updates throughout our journey.
 

 

Amy Layne is the Co-Founder of DAMY Health Online & The Healthy Rebel App. Here at DAMY she is our Head Coach Specializing in Holistic Nutrition, Secretly Healthy Recipe Creation, Fitness, Self-Love, Inspiration and Living Your Best Life. She is the creator of the world famous DAMY Method and Bikini Body Programs. To see Amy’s Before and After Photos and DAMY Member Success Stories Click Here. For Amy’s complete story go here!

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